All the Ragged People: A 7th Doctor ShortTrip
by That-Other-Doctor
Summary: Set between "Survival" and The TV Movie. "For her, whose life was dictated by chaos and adventure and personal suffering even the Doctor knew nothing about, life was to end not with a bang, but with a whisper."


_Running scared,_  
_Laying low, _  
_Seeking out the poorer quarters _  
_Where the ragged people go, _  
_Looking for the places _  
_Only they would know._

– Paul Simon, "The Boxer"

* * *

"Oi, Doctor . . . are we going to die?"

It was the simple bluntness of the question that took him by surprise. There was no layering to her inquiry, no padding with censoring or philosophical gobbledegook. Just plain, cold, harsh reality. His companion was staring at him with unwaveringly intenseness, silently demanding an answer to a question that no person should have to ask. Though he was facing away from her, gazing forlornly into the far-flung distance, he could still feel her unblinking eyes drilling holes into the back of his head.

"Yes, Ace." The Doctor murmured as he rested his forehead against the skin-numbing metal casing of their capsule. He closed his eyes and all but sighed the last words, "We are going to die."

Ace didn't respond right away. How could she? The man whom she trusted unequivocally, the man who would always save the day, the man who had all the answers and would never let her down, was telling her that she was going to die. Not eighty years from now in some hospital, alone on Earth with the last breaths of life slowly leaving her brittle, age-ravaged frame. But today. Right here, right now, in her prime, millions of miles and thousands of years away from all things normal and familiar. A universe away from Perivale and the darkness it held.

All things considered, Ace didn't despair. She didn't fight, she didn't protest or struggle with the overwhelming obstacles in the meager hope of escape. Imminent destruction sometimes had that effect on people. When you traveled with the Doctor as much as she did, death became an everyday possibility. After a time, it's something she's learned to live with. Ace found that coming to terms with the inevitable was easier than denying her expendability and then being frightfully disappointed when the end did come. The prospect of death still frightened her, but Ace found that in facing that fear lies the better part of overcoming it. Once the fear is mastered, the only thing left with which to face death is courage. For her, whose life was dictated by chaos and adventure and personal suffering even the Doctor knew nothing about, life was to end not with a bang, but with a whisper. When there was nothing one could do about a predicament, then why should one worry about it? The Doctor had taught her that, and Ace was content to let events come to pass.

After all, if she was going to die, she wouldn't die beside anyone else but the man sitting beside her.

"Does it hurt, Professor?" Ace whispered.

The Doctor turned his head from the cold wall and considered his companion with a sliver of incomprehension. "I don't know, Ace. I have never died before."

"You told me that your people, when their goose is well cooked, do some weird identity swap to save themselves. You become an entirely different person. Isn't that like dying?"

The Doctor twiddled his interlaced fingers thoughtfully, and pondered over Ace's statement for what seemed like a small eternity.

"It is, and it isn't, I suppose." He rolled the words carefully over his tongue, as if mistrusting himself to say the right thing. "My old form dies, but the essence of _me_ stays the same. I am still the same man, deep down. I am still the Doctor."

He hadn't really answered her question.

"I almost died once." Ace was suddenly drawn off subject, her eyes focusing on something the Doctor couldn't make out. "When I was little, my friend Manisha Purkayastha had a grand old two-wheeler. It was bus-red, with gleaming chrome tire rims and chains that would roll like oiled satin. Manisha let me ride it sometimes. It was brill, that bike, mostly 'cause I didn't have one of my own. I would bolt up and down streets like a mad person, ignoring crossings and dodging people and doing all kinds of dangerous stuff just to feel the wind on my face and the exhilaration of going so fast, life itself couldn't catch me. I loved the freedom of it . . ."

Ace broke off and developed a sudden interest in her trainers. "Sorry 'bout that, Professor. The last thing you want to hear at a time like this is my twaddle."

But when she looked up again, the Doctor was sitting down, elbows on knees, gazing intently at her as if she were the most fascinating thing since panama hats and spoons. He motioned to the little ledge next to him, and Ace sat down. He gave her a sad smile that still managed to brighten their gloomy prison ever so slightly.

"Yes I do, Ace. I wouldn't want to hear anything else, from anyone else." He put a hand on her shoulder. "Tell me more about that bike."

"In the end, it almost killed me." Ace chuckled lightly. "That's what I deserved, I guess. I went barreling into a zebra crossing and collided with a bloke minding his own business, too absorbed in his paper to notice the kamikaze biker girl rocketing towards him at 20 kilometers an hour. The bike took the impact of it; I went sailing over the handlebars and right into oncoming traffic. I tell you what, I caused such a jam-up! Cars everywhere, squealing and honking and yelling and making a right fuss.

"The funny thing was, when I fell, as I was laying there in the middle of the road, it still felt like I was riding Manisha's bike. I still felt like my legs were pushing the pedals. I still felt it bucking as we careened over ditches and holes in the pavement. I still felt the wind. I think I wanted to believe I was still free. I kept telling myself I was anywhere but there in the intersection, and I think I convinced myself that I was still outrunning my life, still running away on that bike . . ."

Ace let out a sob. She tried to choke it down, for dignity's sake, but that only made it sound more strangled and heartbroken. Before long, tears were rolling down her face and her shoulders were shaking so much, she could have been freezing in the snow.

She realized, in that moment, whether for shame or pride or lack of self-interest, she had never allowed herself to cry.

"Oh, Ace." The Doctor murmured. He looped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards him. For once, she didn't protest the show of affection. Ace scrunched her hands into fists and wept silently onto the Doctor's shoulder.

"I was still riding that bike with you, Professor." She sobbed, "I thought we could outrun everything. I thought we could run forever."

The Doctor didn't answer. Instead, he bent Ace's head down and kissed her lightly on the top of her hair.

"It doesn't hurt, Ace." He whispered, embracing the strong young woman to whom life had been so cruel.

* * *

"We will ride that bike until the end of time."


End file.
